i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Randomize
