I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
