We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
