What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I wear drunk well.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
