Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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