I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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