I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
