She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It's official drugs can't kill me
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize