they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
