You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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