Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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