we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
false alarm. still invincible.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
