dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
