I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Cover your peen. We're going out.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
