Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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