so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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