Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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