We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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