Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
