Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
