I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
