Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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