her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
