You can't motorboat a personality
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
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