He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
