Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
you didnt know i had herpes?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
