I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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