i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
