I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
