First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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