Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
