why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
