I just saw a hot homeless man
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
