How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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