Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
