Its about making memories worth repressing
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
two words: eviction party
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
