Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The air was thick with penises
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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