i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
