Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
