Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
