You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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