This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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