He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
