Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
