No stitches, just platelets and will power
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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