There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
splinters make it hard to masturbate
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
