Just mADE A PArabola og urine
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
