How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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