Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
