just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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