Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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