:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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