atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
