we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
PS: I just woke up from my shower
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
