Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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