I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
