Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
