The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
