take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Is it because I queefed?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
