He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
