I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
