Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
stop calling my apartment porn island.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
